An Exercise for Karma

With almost a month at a half-hearted search for a literary agent, I decided to try a new approach. I've recently joined another group of critics and they are all about Karma! I get the impression that the Karma comes into play when you help your fellow writers, you in turn will be helped.

As one critic suggested, I completed a new exercise today to really get to the meat of my story and learn how to write an intriguing pitch. I pulled out an actual pad of paper and pen! I listed six questions and spent an hour answering them. It's funny - I had what I thought was the perfect pitch. But maybe, since I am the only one that knows the whole story, the pitch only made sense to me. This exercise forced me to write what would make sense to someone that does not know whodunit. After about four hours of reading my answers over and over, I have completed the revision.

I will post the pitch here and would love to know if it works. Does this pitch make you want to read more, does it make the characters/plot/story sound riveting, does it serve like a commercial that would make you drool for the greasy burger? These are the questions I want answered by an agent, fist-banging on the table and shouting, "Yes, yes! Please give me more!"

Wipe the drool from your chin, and let me know what you think. Thanks!

As Eth-Ann Drayer exchanges her title of Soccer Mom for Toy Store Owner, a forged link with her late Grandfather/surrogate Dad and a chance to reclaim her individuality seem like the whipped cream and cherry on top of her emotional sundae - until an erstwhile German friend of her Grandfather’s arrives, relocating from his minimum-security jail cell to the vacant apartment over Eth-Ann’s store.

A shy and bedraggled elderly man, the ex-convict easily blends in with the scenery, sharing cryptic hints of his devotion to Eth-Ann’s Grandfather, even gaining the valued trust of the family’s lawyer.

But when the discovery of a mysterious bag o’ cash leads to the German’s kidnapping, clues left behind give Eth-Ann reason to bet her secret recipe for Sweet Sassafras Tea that her Grandfather’s past leads down a murkier brook than he’d ever admitted.

Ignoring the call to assist the police could cost Eth-Ann a vital connection to explaining her Grandfather’s legacy, not to mention the respect of her family and her status as a hospitable Southerner.

But accepting the duty could cost her life.