It's amazing the momentum and speed I was able to gain while I worked through this last revision/edit of my manuscript. I flew like lightning, pumping out pages each day. Thrilled to make it to the final chapter, I knew that the final edit would soon be complete. I even gave myself a pre-pat on the back for finishing before April. Well, folks - I am still not finished. Another blow to the head, as I bang my face against the space bar on my keyboard, lucky if I can get through a paragraph each day.
This uphill climb has made me wonder about myself. The whole time I've worked on this story, I only wanted to finish knowing that I put the best words on paper. I have a reputation for not finishing things. Take, for example, my kitchen walls - stripped of the top layer of wallpaper; or the art in my living room that hangs in odd relation to the new furniture arrangement; or the boxes of half-finished projects lining the shelves of my basement. The book was the one thing I have felt determined to finish.
Now, as I sit and stare at the screen with less than 5 pages to the end, I have to wonder why it is so hard to finish.
Idea 1 - The ending is so important to get right. I am tying up a lot of loose ends, plus I am checking all of my facts to make sure that none of the loose ends are frayed. If the ending is great, the reader will be encouraged to read the next installment of adventures in this character's life.
Idea 2 - I am scared to finish, because that means my next step is to submit the collection of the last three+ years of blood/sweat/tears to publishing sharks for criticism.
Idea 3 (and the most likely cause) - It is a combination of Idea 1 and 2 that has the incline of the final stretch growing steeper.
Just know this: I am almost finished. I am so close I can taste it, and it is as sweet as a marshmallow Peep. But if you notice I seem more aloof than usual, remind me how far I've come and how much I have learned about myself. I may be the last runner on the course, but I'll finish, nonetheless.
Friday, April 9, 2010
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